Can I please pee alone?

Yes, it's something all of us mothers dream of, a small moment of peace and quiet where we can do our business, or heaven forbid enjoy a shower *gasp* ALONE!
You hear everywhere tales of helicopter moms, well I have helicopter kids.  Seriously the just hover at all times.  My Dancing Diva adores to hover 1/8 on an inch from my head and constantly kiss my ear.  WTF? Or yesterday when Mini Me cried for 20 minutes because she was so lonely sitting next to me and not in my lap.  Judging from the way my kids act you would think that I lock them in their rooms all day, never to be allowed human contact.  When it's quite the opposite, Mini Me and I have spend a whole Saturday morning (when the other kiddos are at their other parents houses) reading books, playing board games, making paper dolls, writing and illustrating stories, watching a little tv together and doing an art project.  Now this will take up the entire morning, then I will tell her ok it's time for me to get some things done; you know exciting stuff like laundry, sweeping the kitchen, or going in search of "that smell" which usually ends up being food someone has stashed in their room or under a couch cushion!  About 5 minutes into that she starts in with "You NEVER play with me!  I'm so lonely, I need someone to play with me!"  *sigh*  I do believe I have spoiled my children.  Or there is Dancing Divas favorite, she spends all weekend at her friends house then come Sun night right at bed time "Mama I miss you, I NEED to spend time with you!  I haven't seen you ALL weekend!!"  o.O  

Nostalgia

I was driving Mini Me home from dance today and listening to some tunes and after having "Let it Go" on repeat for 15 minutes, I decided to move on to the next song.  I had recently downloaded "Graduation (Friends Forever)" by Vitamin C.  This was THE song the year I graduated so it is full of nostalgia on so many levels for me.  And yes, I do bawl like a baby tear up a bit when I listen to it.  You can watch it here!

I look back at those teenage years of mine and think of all of my issues back then.  I had serious self esteem and body image issues (what I wouldn't give to have that 118lb beautiful body back!) I was desperately in love with the perfect boy, though I was too shy to ever speak to him, he was always so polite and sweet to me!  He was my first love and I occasionally Facebook stalk think about him.  I had the most amazing group of friends.  There were 4 of us that always stuck together, a few other girls would float in and out of our group, but it was always the 4 of us.  We spent all our time together, doing school work, hanging out at the mall, playing pool or planning a super bowl party. Any excuse to throw a big dance and we were ON IT!  We were so anxious to hurry up and grow up (WTF were we thinking??) we all stuck together.  We dreamed and schemed, laughed and cried, and just had fun hanging out doing nothing.  Those were some of the best days of my life.  I look back on those days with such fondness...

We are all grown and married and most of us have kids now.  We have moved away from our hometown, and each other, some of us had fallings out, some of us keep in touch but I will always cherish those years and those girls.

Following my dreams...

A couple of months into dating my husband we decided we wanted to own a business together.  That was ages 8 years ago.  It has stayed a dream of ours, but we have never really been in the position of doing it.  But last September when I was hospitalized for a week with a second episode of blood clots (which sadly is very often fatal) I had an epiphany, the doctors were, again, telling me just how lucky I was to be alive, when it hit me.  Yes I was alive,  I have survived this twice!  I have to make the most of my life.  Do what makes me happy, do what is best for my family.  I am very happy and have many things to be thankful for.  My husband is my best friend who I love sharing everyday with, my children are the light of my life, my home is small but cozy, I have a wonderful supportive mother, and great friends.  I worked in a field I LOVE, though I lost my job due to the hospitalization.

Something was missing, and one day when I was lounging around while still on bed rest (which let me tell you is NO picnic!) It hit me!  This is the time to start our business! It's time to quit working for a big corporation that does not appreciate good employees, does not value creativity or any kind of free thinking, works you to the bone without so much as a thanks, and really doesn't care about their customers, only their customers money.  Sadly because of my extensive hospital stay and the subsequent $100,000 I owe them (yeah no insurance through work) I can not get a business loan.  I know we will be successful once we get started.  We have been so very successful working in the industry, between hubby and I we have over 12 years experience and last year alone our stores grossed OVER 2 million dollars.  Now I know we aren't going to make it that big as we are a small business not a big corporation.  We aren't looking to make millions, we just want to share our passion with our community and make enough money for a decent living.  To be able to pay our bills, buy the kids new clothes when they need them, and hopefully take that Disney Vacation we missed out on because I was sick!